My name is Anoymous. I am 10 and I am horrified and worried about my mother. Everyday, whenever I come home from school I see marks on her arms, legs and face that wasn't there before. I see a knife grasped in her hand where the blade is covered in blood. And at school its worser. They bully me, and they say "Your mother is a low-life. She is killing herself because she dosen't want to see your face anymore." That hurts my feelings, espcially when my 'used to be' best friend bullys me now. It hurts my feelings. My mother has been in hospital a few times now, and I stay at home hoping for the best.
My father, I don't really know. He dosen't live with me and my mother, so I don't actually know him.
Please reply Sam, your the only one who I can trust even if I don't know you. I need the help and advice. What should I do Sam? Should I take my life?
Sam
Hi there,
First let me say how glad I am that you wrote this letter to me. You have been brave and strong for such a long time, and it shows even more courage that you were able to write to me.
Seeing your mum hurt can be very difficult and no young person ever deserves to see it. I was worried to hear that youve had to go home and see new marks on her. It sounded like seeing this is something that really stays in your mind and its important that you always remember that even when your mum is hurt your wellbeing is important too.
I can hear that school is a difficult place as well. Its never okay for people to try and make you feel bad and bully you. It sounds like the people who have been saying these things dont understand what theyre actually saying. You don't deserve to have your feelings hurt. You can read a bit more about bullying here.
It sounds like you feel a lot of responsibility for your mum and its always okay to want help in taking care of her. Its important to remember that often people don't know that you need help unless you ask - like you had the courage to ask me. It could be a really good idea to ask a trusted adult for help. Trusted adults are people who you feel safe around and who might be able to help you feel supported at home. Lots of people in your life could be a trusted adult, it could be anyone from people in your family to teachers or friends of the family.
Sometimes it can help to think about what it would be like if you did talk to someone like a teacher, or even what you would like to happen next. There are lots of different ways that you could tell someone. One idea is to show someone the letter that you wrote me. You have written it so well and it could help you explain to someone what's going on for you.
You asked if you should take your own life and I want you to know that suicide is never the right option. There is always another way, even if its hard to see it at first, and getting yourself help is the first step towards being safe and happy.
No matter what is happening, ChildLine counsellors are there to support you. You can talk to a counsellor about absolutely anything, however big or small. The counsellors can help you let out how youve been feeling and if you feel ready they can help you to think about the future as well.
You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
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You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.
