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To Sam

My friends parents are pushing her to hard! What do I do!

Hi Sam. I'm E and I have a bit of a problem, It's my best friend K. She started cutting not to long ago and today I found out why. Her parents. They yell at her, they call her the most awful things. I've seen them do it to. One night when I slept over, she told me not to say anything, that she's okay but I don't know what to do. I want to know if I should confront her parents or let K deal with it. Please please PLEASE answer me.
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thank you for getting in touch about your concerns for a friend who has recently started to self-harm. You have done really well to write things down so clearly. It's very positive that you're asking for help for your friend.

From what you say, your friend is having to deal with emotional abuse from her parents. Nobody has the right to abuse her in this way - it is wrong. Emotional abuse shouldn't be happening and it isn't her fault. I understand that you feel like you want to help your friend but confronting her parents may not be a good idea, especially as she asked you not to say anything. 

If you are very concerned for your friend then you could talk to a trusted adult. This could be someone like a teacher at school who could help your friend get the support she needs. However, if you are very concerned for your friend and feel that she may be in danger then you should contact 999 for immediate help.

Perhaps you could show your friend our pages on self-harm and emotional abuse - this could be a good way for you both to learn more about what she's going through. We also have specific advice about helping a friend which could help you.

There are many options available to your friend - she would be welcome to explore them further by speaking to a ChildLine counsellor through our helpline on 0800 1111, or through our 1-2-1 online chat. 

You are doing really well supporting your friend through this difficult time but it is important to look after yourself too. If you feel unable to talk to someone you trust, please contact us so that we can support you. 

Take care,

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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