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To Sam

my family

dear child line

i am very upset because my mom and step dad have broken up. i really want a dad because my real dad died what should i do. please help me. i do not know how my dad died my mom will not tell me how can i get a dad

Ask Sam

Sam

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Hi there,

When someone close to you dies you may feel like you need some extra support. Support can be anything from finding a way to express your feelings, to talking to an adult or friend that you feel comfortable with.

Losing a parent can be incredibly painful. Although it may be painful for Mum to talk about Dad or it might be that she is protecting you, you have a right to know what happened and it’s important that you feel able to talk about your mum and step-dad and ask any questions.

You can talk to a Childline counsellor or your doctor as well. Counselling can be a great way in dealing with different feelings too. Hope Again are a bereavement service who can give support and information on helping deal with feelings of loss. You can talk to someone directly on their free helpline, or send them an email. You could also have a look at the Winston’s Wish website.

Sometimes when adults aren't happy in their relationship with each other, they may decide to separate and this can be really difficult for the children involved. When family relationships change, it's completely normal to have your own worries.

Taking a moment to think and write down how you feel since your Dad passed away and how you feel about your Step Dad leaving the family home. You can keep this to yourself in your own personal diary or show it to your Mum or another family member that can listen and help. Your thoughts and feelings are important and I can hear that you miss your Step-Dad.

Sometimes it can be difficult to start a conversation and if you don’t feel comfortable talking to your parents or other family members about this, then it may be helpful for you to share your worries with your teachers at school.

Our message boards are another good place for support where you can talk to other young people in sometimes similar situations and experiences.

It's important not to keep worries or feelings bottled up, you can speak to Childline counsellors anytime. Childline is always here for you, you're never alone.

Take care

Sam

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