Ask Sam letter


To Sam

my family always argue

I am having quite a rough time at the moment and I can't figure out what to do. My mum and dad are always arguing and most of the time its starts off with something stupid and small and ends up massive. When I get in the way (by being in the next room) my mum shouts at me and sometimes swears at me. Because I was bullied in my school she would sometimes have a go arpt me and say " no wonder you have no friends your a b****." I've got and older sister who I normally go to but she's in the same situation as me. I have thought about child line but I thought they wouldn't take me seriously. I hope you can help!
From E***
Ask Sam



Thanks for your letter.

I’m really glad that you decided to get in touch with me. It’s never okay for anyone to say mean things to you or call you nasty names. It sounds like the relationship with your family can sometimes feel quite stressful and chaotic. You have a right to feel safe and happy at home.

Are there ever any calmer moments at home when you might be able to talk to both (or even just one) of your parents about how this is affecting you?

Sometimes it can be helpful to have an adult that you trust helping you to talk to your parents. This could be another family member, a family friend or a teacher. They can be there to make sure that any conversations stay calm and fair. You may want to read our page on asking an adult for help.

You’ve also told me that you have experienced bullying at school. Bullying can start for no reason at all and it is always wrong. It sounds like it might have been really hurtful when your mum made that comment. When someone puts you down continually it's called emotional abuse.

If someone's hearing negative things over and over, it can start to make them wonder if those things are true. In the same way, bullying can affect someone's confidence and self-esteem. It’s never okay for anyone to put you down. Maybe you could check out our tips about building your confidence and self-esteem.

One good idea for coping is to keep a diary of what happens and how it makes you feel. If you ever feel ready to ask an adult for help, they can get a really clear idea of what’s happening at home by reading your diary.

You’ve said that you were worried ChildLine might not take you seriously and I want you to know that ChildLine would always take you seriously. We want to be there to support you. We can support your sister too, if she is under 19.

You can call a counsellor free (even from a mobile) on 0800 1111, or you can have an online 1-2-1 chat. No problem is ever too big or too small to talk to ChildLine about.

I hope some of this helps.

Take care,

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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