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My dad

My dad left me on the bus I have told my mum they have broken up and I worried about my little brother he is 3 and  my dad is not so post  to drink but he dose I just stoped seeing him what should i do Sam

from S*

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Sam

Hi S*,

Thanks for your message. It sounds like things have been really difficult for you and your brother because of your dad's drinking.

When someone drinks it can have a really big impact on the whole family. Drinking can cause problems such as arguments and worries about money and health.

Sometimes the people around us do not fully realise the negative impact some of their behaviour can have on us. When someone is drunk it can mean they are less able to take responsibility for looking after their children, so may forget things that need to be done or are perhaps slower to react to dangers. It is important that your dad isn’t drunk when he is caring for you and your brother, so you did the right thing to tell your mum.

You said that you have now stopped seeing your dad after he left you on the bus, but you do not mention how long ago that was. You don’t tell me how you feel about this. If you would like things to change and to see him again there are people who can help, but it has to be something he is prepared to do. You could give your dad this website on drinking to have a look at. Maybe you could explain how his drinking is affecting you and explain that there is help available through the GP. I can see that you are worried that your dad keeps drinking and I want you to know that you do not have to go through this alone.

I get letters from a lot of young people who are affected by their parents drinking and this can mean lots of problems within the family, so getting support is really important for the children too. There is a website called Al-Anon to support people who are affected by their parents drinking and also run support groups in many local areas for you to meet up with other young people and talk through your feelings. You can find your nearest group here.

You might also find it helpful to talk things through confidentially with a ChildLine counsellor. You can log on for a 1-2-1 chat, email, or call on 0800 1111. You could also have a look at the ChildLine message boards where young people share their problems and give helpful ways they have found to cope and make things better.

Take care,
Sam

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