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My cousin tries to touch me

Hi Sam,

My cousin sometimes makes me feel uncomfterble. A few weeks ago my cousin said he wants to massage me. He made me lay down and take off my top- I was just wearing a bra. Then he started talking about how I should take of my pants aswell because I'm supposed to be naked to have a proper massage. I said no but it was just weird. I heard him say to one of his friends that i looked good. I used to like him as in love him but now I dont. Hes tried to touch my bum and he gets upclose and personal to me. I'm only 12 and hes 13.

I just want him to stop- I just want me and him to be friends. What should I do? Please help...xx

Ask Sam


Hi there,

It’s wrong that your cousin is making you feel uncomfortable when you are around him and nobody should make you do something you don’t want to do. It’s really good you were able to say no to him, and it was really brave of you to talk about what is happening to you.

If someone is pressuring you to do something sexual like taking your clothes off and touching parts of your body, that’s called sexual abuse and it’s wrong. One way to protect yourself is making sure you are not left alone with them, though I know that’s not always possible.

Remember that it’s always okay to talk to an adult you trust. They can help to keep you safe. It’s important that you get the support you deserve as it seems like this situation is affecting you.

I understand it can be difficult as they are part of your family and you want to be friends with them. Remember you have a right to stay away from someone if you feel uncomfortable, even if that person is family.

If you feel you want to talk things through, our counsellors are always available to listen and you can contact them anytime. You can also get support from other young people on our sexual abuse message boards.

Take care,

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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