Ask Sam letter


To Sam

My Brother

My brother always hits me and my younger brother always cheers him on when he beats me up. I'm only 12
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Families should be caring and loving towards each other and make each other feel safe. If that’s not happening it can be really upsetting. It can be normal for different family members not to get along from time to time, but it’s not okay for anyone to hurt someone else, especially if this happens a lot.

It can be frightening and leave you confused about what to do if you’re feeling bullied and being hit by a sibling. Parents or carers have a responsibility to make sure all the children are safe. Sometimes the adults in families don’t always see all that happens or realise how bad it is, so they might need to be told to get them to do something to get it to stop.

It can be hard to find a good time to sit down and talk or to know exactly what to say, so it can help to think through when might be the best time to ask to chat and how to start the conversation off. If saying everything out loud feels difficult, sometimes writing it down in a letter can help.

Another thing to think through is what might need to happen to make it better at home. Perhaps it would help for everyone to sit down as a family and work out some rules about getting along better. If the adults at home don’t take steps to make sure everyone is safe, it could be a good idea to think about telling another adult outside of the family, like a teacher, about how things are. Remember that everyone has a right to feel safe in their own home.

It can be difficult to stay out of the way of someone who is being mean, but it can help to try and find ways to avoid them or to stay where an adult can see what is going on.

I know that this might be a lot to think about. There is always someone at ChildLine who you can talk to about how you’re feeling and any different options there are. You can talk to ChildLine counsellors by logging on for a 1-2-1 chat or by calling on 0800 1111 (all calls are free and don’t show up on the bill).

We also have some pages on bullying and family relationships which you might find useful.

The police are also always there for anyone who is feeling in immediate danger - they can be called by dialling 999.

Take care,

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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