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To Sam

Mum Troubles

My name is E.
Recently my parents have spilt up after my mum cheated on my dad, my mum and me can't even talk with finding ourselves eventually screaming at... It's horrible... Being alone with her and sometimes being around her boyfriend makes me feel like I'm out numbered and alone. When I'm with my dad it's fine, everythings peaceful and we get along great but I don't know what to do about my mum.. It's like she isn't even my mum.. She's so wrapped in her relationship with him that I find it hard to respect her and see her as someone I can trust and look up to.. Also it feels like she's forcing him into my life when I don't want him there.. Of course when I tell her this it just leads to another fight...
 Please help Sam Thanks
E x
Ask Sam


Hello E, 

Thanks for getting in touch with me and I can hear things with mum have been difficult since your parents split-up.

Sometimes it can be hard to talk with parents about what happened and this can leave everyone feeling stressed, although you may not be able to talk about it with mum at the moment there might come a point in the future where this is possible. It sounds like things are more relaxed when you are with your dad, perhaps you could tell him what things are like with mum to see if there is anything he could do.

Not wanting your mum’s new partner around is a natural reaction after your parents have split-up and it may take some time before you feel comfortable having a new person there. When a parent has a new partner it can sometimes make us feel hurt, pushed away or uncomfortable. If you find talking to mum about this leads to a fight then you could always try writing everything down to see if she responds better to that. It can sometimes help when someone has time to think about what we are saying to them and about how we feel and a letter can be a good way of doing that. I can hear that you are going through a tough time at the moment and would encourage you to have a chat with someone at ChildLine, as talking things through often helps. You can do this by giving them a ring on 0800 1111, request a 1-2-1 chat on the website or sending an e-mail.

You might also find it helpful to have a look at the Separation and Divorce message board where other young people can give you advice on how to make things easier at home.

Take care,


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