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mum dien and dad hurts me

Hi my names amy im 12 and have 2 sisters and a brother, my mums in hostpital i think shes dien but im not sure all i know is shes been in there for like ages and shes died before but they got her back alive anyway i live with my dad but hes mostly out at work so im homealone hes not the nicest dad he ,throws boxes at me and always screams at me for nothing and calls me names. i dont know if  to tell my friends but they always ask about my mum and i dont know what to say. i sometimes cry when my dads not home because i miss my mum, shes only 30. I dont want my dad to know ive wrote this because he will most probly hurt me x
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Sam

Hello there

Thank you for your message. From what you’ve said it sounds like you’re going through a really scary and upsetting time at the moment with mum being in hospital and dad treating you badly.

The way your dad is treating you is wrong. He should not be throwing boxes at you and screaming and calling you names. I imagine it could be frightening when these kinds of things happen. The way you dad is treating you is emotional and physical abuse and it’s not ok. You have a right to feel happy and safe in your own home. You might like to read more about abuse and keeping safe in Explore.

Perhaps you could think about talking to an adult you trust about how dad treats you. You deserve to get help with everything happening at the moment. Sometimes a parent might need some extra support to help with caring for their children, particular if the family is under a lot of stress. If an adult like a teacher knew what was happening at home, they could speak to social services, who might be able to arrange some support for you and your family. I can hear that you are worried about your dad knowing you’ve told someone about what’s happening and that you think he might hurt you if he found out. Social services would want to help protect you from being hurt, so it would be really important for them to know that you are scared about this.

I can hear that not knowing what’s happening to your mum is very worrying for you and it sounds like you really miss her. Is there anyone else in your family who could tell you a bit more about what’s happening? Or perhaps you could ask a teacher at school if you could talk about your feelings about mum. Your teachers are there to help keep you safe and happy, as well as to help you learn.

It sounds like you’ve got some good friends who care about you but you’re not quite sure how to tell them about your mum. It might be useful to just talk to a couple of close friends about what is going on so they can be there for you and even help you talk to a teacher about what is happening. Your feelings are really important, and you deserve to be listened to and supported.

You might like to have a think about talking to a ChildLline counsellor so they can explore what other options you may have. They will keep what you tell them confidential, unless they think someone’s life is at risk. You can call them for free on 0800 1111, or log on for a1-2-1 chat.

Take care

Sam

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