Ask Sam letter


To Sam

Mum and Passport


I’m Ellie. I’m 17 and a few months ago I moved out of my Mum’s house.

I plan on going on holiday in a few weeks, as well as signing up to my new GP in my new local borough. For both of these - I need my passport.

My Mum is emotionally blackmailing me for my passport; asking to ‘meet for a coffee’ so she can give it to me. I do not want this. I just want my passport .

What should I do?

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Your passport belongs to you, so it would not be okay for your mum to keep hold of it or make you do things to get it. You have a few options open to you and it's up to you what you do. Think carefully about how you want things to be from now on. Deciding which option to choose will depend on your relationship with your mother and what you feel comfortable with. But it’s important to do what you think is best for you.

Your first option is to meet up with your mum. I don't know what your relationship with your mum is like, but if she wants to meet up to give it to you then this could be the quickest way to get your passport. It's important that you feel comfortable doing this. If you already know that you don't want to meet your mum then you don't have to.

Your second option is to ask an adult relative or friend to meet with your mum to get your passport. If you don't want to meet with her then you could ask someone else that you trust to do it for you. Although it’s hard, it’s important to think about how this could effect your relationship with your mum in the future. Find out more about asking an adult for help.

Finally you can buy a new passport and report your current one as stolen. You could tell your mum about this to see if she will give you your passport, but if she doesn't you can still buy one. It can take over a week to get a replacement passport so if you need it sooner then you should get it as soon as possible. It is not cheap but it's one way of getting your passport without seeing your mum.

Think through what you want to do and what you think will be best for you, both now and in the future. If you want to talk about your options with a Childline counsellor, we’re here for you.

Thanks for your letter, take care.


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