Ask Sam letter


To Sam

mom and dad

I am 13 years old and I live with my mom and dad at the moment. For the past 7 years, my family has done nothing but fight constantly for the stupidest reasons. I have learned to cope with it till now. The fights have gotten way worse. It goes from screaming, to getting in each others faces and even throwing things around the house. My mother has tried calling the police so many times but my father usually beats her to the phone and pushes her at the wall. I don't like my parents at all.My dad never pays attention to me so he doesn't really care. I KNOW my mom never liked me. She would always call me ugly, fat, pathetic and that she likes my brother better than me. To my friends, I'm this happy, hyper, and fun girl but when im home, im the most depressed person ever. I cry all the time, I lock my doors so my father doesn't hurt me when he screams. I'm afraid of my home. I would get my brother but he's always working. It's a nightmare...and I need your advice please. I don't want to be here
Ask Sam



I’m really pleased that you’ve written to me as things are so tough for you at home.

I can hear that there are lots of arguments at home and that you’re also witnessing domestic violence which has been going on for a very long time. I’m really concerned that you don’t always feel safe or loved and cared for. What’s happening at home is wrong. From everything you’ve described in your letter you are being subjected to emotional abuse and neglect. It sounds like your mum wants to get help but your dad keeps stopping her and making her scared to do this. I want you to know that it’s your parents’ responsibility to look after, protect and care for you.

You’ve said that you’ve learned to cope with it all until now but you really shouldn’t have had to be coping with it at all and I want you to know that you do have a right to get some help and support for your family. It might help to talk this through with one of the counsellors at ChildLine they can tell you about the ways you might be able to get help and what might happen. You can ring the counsellors on 0800-1111 (calls are free and won’t show up on bills); you can take up an online 1-2-1 chat through the ChildLine website. You can also send emails (it can take the counsellors up to 24hrs to reply to these and as you have so much going on right now this might not be the best way to get the support that you need right now).

I know that young people can worry about what will happen if they call ChildLine and say what’s going on so it might be a good idea to have a look through their confidentiality section first to understand more about how they work, what they can keep confidential and when they might have to tell someone else.

I really hope you will feel able to talk to ChildLine and get some support for yourself.

Take care,


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