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To Sam

Mental Abuse

Dear Sam,

I am 13 years old, I am having alot of trouble with my life because I feel that my father is Narcissistic, and selfish. When ever I need help with something he always shouts at me to go away because he's "Working" As he says, although in reality he's on facebook or looking up random things online, He also gets angry at the smallest things, for example if his phone is being slow or he hits the wrong key on the keyboard, He get extremely angry and swears alot at simple things.

I live with only my dad so I can see how it may be hard for him however he does even worse things, He breaks my belongings, my Phone Snapped in half, My headphone wires cut into pieces, my laptop smashed. I bought those myself earning money from chores. Although there's one thing that really upsets me, sometimes he has the urge to ask me why I was born as a retorical question, I feel hurt and abused, he doesn't ever hit me, but it's as if he's trying to dig a hole in my mind.

If only there was one way that I could make him become normal, or less nasty, I would really appreciate it if you could give me some help, the last thing I want to do Is get taken away from him because although he's not at all nice, I love him alot, Please help me.


Ask Sam


Hi there,

There are different ways someone can be abused, and not all are physical abuse. When someone is being emotionally or mentally abused it can be very difficult for that person to talk about it as there are no physical signs. Living with emotional abuse is just as difficult as any other kind of abuse and it's always wrong for someone to hurt you in this way.

Emotional abuse is when someone hurts your feelings or puts you down a lot. Asking why you were born is one way someone can emotionally abuse. It's not okay for someone to do that. You have a right to be at home and not feel judged or unwanted. It can be difficult to think about telling someone else about this, but it's always okay to do so.

When someone you care about is hurting you, it's common to have mixed feelings about what's happening. Feeling like you want things to change but don't want your dad to get into trouble or be taken away is understandable. But it's important to remember you're not to blame for what happens and your dad is the one who's in the wrong.

Sometimes things can get better at home by talking. If someone is abusing you, it's better to get another adult involved so they can help your dad to change the way he's acting. If you try and do this on your own, you might not get the response you're hoping for. It's always best to get help.

If you can't think of another adult who you can trust, then talking to one of our counsellors is a good next step. They can help you to work out what you should do next.

Thanks for the letter, take care.


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