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Leaving my adopted parents

Hi Sam, i am 15 years opd and i was adopted at the age of 6 however i never wanted to be adopted. I was wondering if it would be possible to go back into foster care as i feel no emotional connection with my adopted parents and i get depressed a lot. Any advice for me would be greatly appriciated.

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Feeling safe, happy and secure is important, no matter who you live with. You deserve to be well looked after, listened to, to have your feelings respected and be included in activities that help you feel like part of the family.

Someone can feel distant from their parents for lots of reasons, like having different interests or not being treated well. Feeling no emotional connection can also happen if your parents are a different race, culture or nationality to you. Sometimes people can feel no emotional connection to their biological parents too.

One difficult part of being in care or adopted is that big decisions are made about your life that you may have had very little say in. Adults make those decisions and try to do what’s best for you, or to protect you if you were at risk or in danger. In your case, that decision was made when you were very young when your family decided to adopt you.

Being adopted means that you become the child of people who are not your biological parents. Adopted children are given support to settle in with their new family before and after adoption. But problems can continue or new problems can arise later on. Adopted families can ask for help with anything that is not working out.

The care system is there for young people who don’t have any family that can safely look after them. No matter whether you are adopted or live with biological parents, you are only taken into care if a social worker feels you need to be.

If you are feeling depressed and finding it difficult to make emotional connections with people, it might be a good idea to speak to someone like a doctor. There is help for people who are struggling with emotional and mental health. Try bringing up the idea of talking to your GP with your adopted parents, or you can make an appointment yourself if you like.

There are local groups in many areas where adopted children and young people can talk to other adopted young people about their experiences so that they feel less alone. Or you can talk to other young people about being adopted or being in care on the Childline message boards.

I hope this helps, thanks for the letter.

Take care


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