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To Sam

It's all a bit to much for me to handle

Hi Sam,

I'm 13 years old, and yesterday my dad rang me to say he'd split up with his fiance of nearly 5 years. It came as a huge shock to me, because I loved it being the three of us, and I thought they were the same- Turns out not. He said they split last Saturday, but the hardest thing for him to do was telling me. I was at home with my Mum when I heard the news. But why did they split? Was it the pressure of the age gap. She's nearly 25, and Dad's 34, but she loved being my older sister. I don't know how to react. Yesterday I just cried, and I spoke to them both and they're really good friends. Thanks xxx

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thanks for sharing with me what is going on for you and your family at the moment.

It’s obvious that you really cared about your dad’s fiancée and that she felt the same towards you. She felt like an older sister to you and  the three of you being together meant a lot to you. It clearly was a bit of a shock to you and left you feeling upset after he'd told you they had split up.

There can be lots of reasons why relationships don’t work out – age differences can have an impact on some people, but there are lots of people with age difference where it makes no difference at all. 

It’s not always possible to know why two people decide to end things, and it can be really hard on other people who care about them both. However, just because two people are no longer together as a couple it doesn’t mean that you have to stop having a relationship with either of them.

It’s really great you are able to be so open to talk about how you feel, and it sounds like your mum, your dad and your dad’s ex-girlfriend really care about you. Talking about how you feel is really important, and anytime you feel you would like to share with someone how you are feeling you are more than welcome to contact one of our counsellors here by calling us on 0800 1111 or by having a 1-2-1 chat.

Take care,


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