Ask Sam letter


To Sam

Invasion of privacy

My mum and dad wont give me any privacy.

They are constantly in my business they yell at me for everything i do, they use my privacy against me, they have went onto my facebook and read my messages, they accuse me of things i haven't done nor will do.

they hav threatend me with the police many times for being with someone close. its gotten to the point where i have ran away.

i have asked for my privacy back but my mum said i was black mailing her i dont know what to do please help.

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thanks for your letter. I’m glad you’re talking about this because it sounds like you are feeling really trapped at the moment.

Having privacy can mean a lot of different things to different people. As you’re growing up, having enough privacy is incredibly important because it helps you develop into your own person. It sounds like you and your parents have really disagreed with what privacy you should have. I can hear how frustrating and unfair it feels when they make assumptions and accuse you of things you haven’t done.

Without knowing a bit more about your situation, it’s hard to understand what might make your parents feel so strongly that they call the police. I'm concerned that things have been so difficult at home that you’ve run away before. Running away can be a really risky choice.

It’s important to remember that being at an age where you are old enough to do something doesn’t always mean it’s safe for you to do it. For example, Facebook’s rules says that you are allowed to create an account once you are 13, but I hear from lots of young people older than that who have been bullied or abused by somebody online. Your parents have a responsibility to make sure that you’re safe and protected, at the same time as giving you some privacy. That can be a really difficult balancing act.

What would you want to say if you were able to talk to your parents without it turning into an argument? It’s really common for young people to disagree with their parents about privacy, but I can hear that things seem to have got to breaking point for your family. I wonder if you and your parents might find it useful to have some support from someone else who could help you find a solution. Are there any other adults in your life that might be able to help all of you talk it through together? It sounds like the police have been involved before, and I wonder if they have suggested anyone who might be able to support you all.

Any time you feel unsafe for any reason, it’s okay to try and get support from a responsible adult. This could mean calling 999, talking to a teacher or speaking to ChildLine. The ChildLine counsellors can help you stay safe and talk through what’s happening in your life. Talking to us can also help you think about your options for the future.

Take care,


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