Ask Sam letter


To Sam

I'm 16 and want to move out

I'm 16 and I want to move out its not that I being abused or that my mum isn't a bad mum but I just feel that I want to be on my own

 the relationship isn't working my mum drinks a lot on weekends aswell and we just argue non stop about little things and we just aren't the same anymore

iv asked to move out loads but I just haven't got any way of funding the money to live elsewhere. I just feel that moving out will be the best for both of us

as I think I have anger issues aswell and it's not helping she doesn't understand how I get and feel sometimes and she makes it worse for me and I'm going through a stressful time with my GCSEs and how it is at the moment isn't helping the way she's treating me

Ask Sam



When things aren’t working out at home it can feel like moving out is the way to making things better. Family relationships can change, especially during GCSE exam time. And if arguments are making life difficult, it’s really important to find somewhere to go to get space or someone you can talk to for help.

Some people do want to live alone and feel really ready for their own space. The difficult thing at 16 is that, unless social services have been involved, it might not be possible to get financial support or benefits to help you move out. If you’re under 16 you can contact social services for advice.

Parents and alcohol can sometimes cause problems at home. It might be worth mum getting some help for how she’s feeling. If mum is making you feel unsafe at home then it’s important to tell someone. While you’re still at home you might be able to talk to someone there, or thinking of a trusted adult you feel able to talk to.

Anger is a normal reaction to stressful situations or unhappiness at home. But if you’re feeling like this a lot it can really help to talk to someone regularly, like a counsellor (through school or by asking your doctor). They can help to find out what works to help you manage it. It may help to get out the house to find safe spaces to go to (like libraries, a friend’s house, cafes or somewhere safe to walk) where you can get time to yourself.

You can also talk to a counsellor about how you’re feeling or to ask for more advice. Shelter also have lots of advice for young people leaving home and finding a place

Hope this helps,

Take care,

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

Ask me a question

You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.

Write me a letter