Ask Sam letter

Asker

To Sam

i want to see my dad ove xmas

dear sam I want to see my dad over Christmas but my mum says that he has beaten me up but he has not and that he is horrible because he drink quite a lot to be honest but I only rally go over there to see my baby brother and sister though

I wish u can help me

from s*

Ask Sam

Sam

Hi S*,

Christmas can be a hard time for lots of people, especially when you’re not spending it with some of the people you care about. I can tell that you really want to be able to see your Dad, your baby brother and sister over Christmas.

I’m concerned to hear that your Mum is saying that your Dad has beaten you up. Everyone deserves to be safe, and it’s good to hear that this hasn’t happened. Sometimes a court decides that there shouldn't be any contact between a parent and their child if it wouldn't be safe for the child. This is a way of keeping some young people safe.

All young people have the right to see both of their parents unless there is a reason why it wouldn’t be safe to. If you feel like you’re being stopped from seeing your dad without a good reason, you can get legal advice from the Children’s Legal Centre. I can't tell you what they'll say, but they may be able to help you to understand what decisions have already been made and what you might be able to do to change things.

It could help to talk to your Mum about other ways of staying in touch with your Dad and your baby brother and sister, if seeing them face to face isn’t possible. There might be people, either other family members or professionals, like social workers, who can help you to have some contact with them.

It can be hard to understand and cope with when someone close to us, like a parent, drinks a lot. It can make you feel worried or confused about them, and hard to deal with the way they change when they've been drinking. Sometimes they can seem like they are 2 different people.

If you’d like to talk about this some more, remember that you can speak to a Childline Counsellor any time. They are always there to support you when you want to talk. You might also find it helpful to take a look at the Childline message boards. There’s a section about Alcohol, smoking and drugs and another section about [Home and Family](https://www.childline.org.uk/get-support/message-boards/boards/threads/?boardid=82&roomid=245). It could help to talk to other young people who might be going through similar things.

Take care,

Sam

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

Ask me a question

You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small.

Write me a letter