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To Sam

I just don't know what to do anymore!!

I live with my mum and my step-dad

. My step-dad adopted me when i was ten as my real dad was an alcoholic and died when i was young
. My step-dad has always brought me up and we've always got on really well. However, in the past few months we havent stopped arguing at all it's so bad i sit in my room and cry as i feel like my parents dont love me as they just gang up on me the whole time.
I've started wondering about my real dad and just want to know where i've come from all i have from my dad is one picture
. I dont know what to do anymore because i feel like i can't talk to anyone if im having any problems.

i have troubles a school and im just having to bottle it all up and pretend im fine. i spend all day trying to put a smile on my face but really im dying inside. i just feel like crying the whole time what should i do?? thanks please reply im desperate

Ask Sam

Sam

Hi there,

Family relationships can be really hard work. It’s normal to have arguments but living with someone who isn’t your biological parent can make harder. Always remember that there are people you can talk to – you don’t have to go through this by yourself.

As you get older, it's normal to argue more with your family – especially if you are going through hard times at school. Sometimes parents can be going through hard times too but they still have a responsibility to look after you and to make sure you’re okay. Home should be somewhere where that you feel happy and safe. 

It’s totally normal to really want to know more about your real dad and who he was. Knowing who your real parents are can help you know more about yourself. You have every right to ask more about him. 

Try and think who you can talk to and maybe write a letter or list about all the things you would like to know and give it to the people in your family that might be able to help.  Some people may find it hard to talk but it’s still okay for you to ask – he was your dad.

If you bottle up how you feel or pretend that everything’s fine it can make you feel worse. Maybe ask your mum and stepdad if you can all have some time to talk about how things are at home. This could give you a chance to talk about your dad. 

It’s really brave of you to tell me how you really feel. If you would like to talk more about any of this, you can talk to a ChildLine counsellor at any time by phoning 0800 1111, sending an email or having a 1-2-1 chat. You can also message other young people on the family relationship message board.

You can also read more about:

I hope this has helped.

Take care,
Sam

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