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i don't think my mum loves me...

Hi sam,
i am E and i am 12, this is probably a real time waster but i don't think that my mum loves me...
she always shouts at me for the tiniest things and blames me for things i didn't even do. i feel that my older sister is loved much more than i am. she says that she wants me to grow up and be more like her. i do love my sister and she knows my problems but can't really solve this one. i get upset with her because she purposly winds me up and then tells me i have a screw loose and there is something wrong with me. every day i am told that my sister is better than me in different ways. she has also told me that she loves my nephew more than me and that she "loves me" but doesn't like me. i still really love her.                                               
i really hope you can help me
Ask Sam


Hi E,

Relationships with family can be quite difficult at times. It can be hard to get along with everyone all the time. Even when we love our family, sometimes it can feel like we’re being treated unfairly or that they don’t love us back. Talking and being open and honest about how you feel is good for you. It can help change things.

Nobody has the right to say mean things to you and put you down and this is emotional abuse. It's wrong for them to treat you this way. When you hear negative things over and over, sometimes you believe it. But just because someone says something, it doesn’t mean it’s true. Always being compared to others sounds like it can be tough to deal with. It could really affect your confidence and self-esteem.

Sometimes people don’t realise how their words and actions affect another person. We have no control over what other people say and do. But we can think about the best ways to react when someone is being hurtful to protect ourselves.

When things are difficult for you, talking about how you’re feeling can help. If you don’t feel able to talk to your mum, it can be good to think about someone you trust like a member of your extended family or a teacher. Perhaps they will be able to help you to change the way things are at home.

Even when someone can’t solve the problem, having someone there to support you can help. You have a right to feel loved and cared for by your family.

Remember, you can talk to one of our counsellors at any time, they are always there to listen to and support you.

Take care,

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