Ask Sam letter


To Sam

I can't do this anymore

Never in my entire life I thought I would be on the childline website let alone writing a letter about my problems! Basically, I've been really upset lately because of my mum and dad always arguing and's gotten to the point where my mum hit me. Do I deserve this? Is it my fault? I'm not used to all of this because I fortunately had a good life until all of the family problems, they tell me it's my fault and I should be in care, is this normal for other families? I don't know what to do. I can't do this anymore 
Ask Sam



Thank you for finding the courage to write to me and tell me a little bit about what life is like for you.

It sounds like things at home are not good between you and your parents. You may be so used to your parent’s arguing that you are questioning if it is normal for families to behave in this way. While it can be normal to argue and have disagreements, it is never okay for your parents to hit you. This is physical abuse and it is wrong.

Sometimes adults do argue - however it’s wrong for your mum and your dad to be arguing in front of you, especially on a regular basis. I am really concerned to hear that your mum has hit you. This is physical abuse and should not be happening. It is not your fault even though your parent’s may be telling you it is. It seems like they are looking for someone to blame for losing control of their behaviour and that person is you. I want you to know that you are not to blame and that you have not done anything wrong.

You mentioned that your mum and your dad have said that you should be in care and I can hear that this is upsetting for you. There are people that can help. Perhaps you could talk to an adult you trust. Many young people tell me that talking to someone like a teacher or counsellor also can help. They would be able to talk to you about what is happening and try to help you to find ways to resolve any problems your family have. As you have not said how old you are, it’s difficult to say what may happen but they will be able to support you and help to keep safe

You may want to talk in more detail to a ChildLine counsellor about this. They will be able to support you and talk about any options you may have. Also, if ever you feel unsafe or need emergency help you can call 999.

Whatever you decide to do, your feelings are really important and you deserve to feel happy and safe.

Take care,


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