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How to cope with coming out

My dad came out as gay today and I can't stop crying. He told us that he is seeing a man and I seemed okay with it at the start but as the day has gone on I have become more and more angry with him. I wasn't able to bring myself to look at him and I wouldn't leave my room until he left. My parents live apart so I guess I should have known something like this would happen but I can see that it has hurt my mum a lot. Please, any advice on how to cope would be much appreciated
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Sam

Hi there,

Finding out something that feels upsetting can lead to you feeling a lot of different emotions at once. This can be overwhelming. Crying is a natural way to react in this kind of situation and it’s okay to give yourself some time to process what’s happened. It can also take time to think about how this could affect you and what your worries are.

How you feel about your dad’s news is really important. It’s also important that you feel listened to and respected. Whilst I can see that right now this feels upsetting to you and other members of your family, it’s actually really positive that he has been honest with you about this rather than keeping secrets. Part of your anger may be that he hasn’t told you sooner.

Something to remember is it probably took a lot of bravery for your dad to tell you this. Whilst it’s understandable that you feel angry, it’s worth remembering that this situation isn’t something your dad chose to be in. Someone’s sexuality is a part of who they are and there’s nothing wrong with being gay. But for someone to come out as gay when you’ve known them to always be straight can still be shocking.

Once things feel calmer, you may feel ready to talk to someone about this and about what could help things feel easier for you. This may be something you want to talk to your mum or dad about – or you may prefer to talk to someone who is less involved in the situation.

There may be a counsellor at your school or college you could talk to or maybe a teacher or a friend of the family. Remember you can always talk to a ChildLine Counsellor.

Take Care,
Sam

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