The past three years have been hell for me with my mum since my grandma died in 2014 suddenly . I know sometimes I can do things that upset her or make her angry but soon after my grandma died she started to hit me when she got angry . She always drums into me that its my fault she looses her temper because the house is a mess or that Im Fat ugly a freak she wishes I was dead That I should kill my self , she hates me , im thick . im never going to get anywhere in life .
Sam
Hi there,
It sounds like there are two issues raised here - the loss of a family member and your relationship with your mum.
Losing someone in the family can be one of the hardest things to go through in life. Grief affects people differently - but it is never an excuse for someone taking their emotions out on other people. Especially being angry and hitting out, this is physical abuse and it’s wrong.
What happened to your grandma is not your fault. Even if you said or did things that upset her. It doesn’t never okay for your mum to hit you when she gets angry.
It can be normal for people to lose their temper sometimes but it is never okay to lash out, call someone nasty names or bully someone else. This is emotional abuse and it can have an impact on someone’s self-esteem and how they see themselves.
If you have a difficult relationship with your parents or carers or things are getting too much it can be hard to know how to change things. It might be an idea to think about people in your life you can turn to for support. It could be a trusted relative or a teacher or a friend.
Childline would really like to support you to talk about how you are feeling right now. If you would like to talk to a counsellor you can call on 0800 1111, have a 1-2-1 counsellor chat or send an email.
Take care,
Sam
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