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To Sam

How can I ask my mam to stop drinking as much as she is on the weekends?

my mam and dad always gets really drunk on a saturday night when im sleeping at my aunties, so i come home on a sunday and my dad is sober but my mam hasn't sober'd up yet and is still drunk. This gets really annoying because i now hate sundays as my mam is usually still drunk and because of that she carries on drinking in the afternoon and her excuse is that she's "only finishing the bottle off". My parents never get drunk during the week its always just on the weekend,theyre not alcoholics but i just hate Sundays now becasue my mam gets very annoying when drunk and she refuses to admit that shes drunk. When me and my sister's talk about it with her when she is sober she is very stubborn and refuses to believe that shes doing anything wrong. Is there anything that i could say to her to get her to understand how it's making me feel or am i just being too over dramatic?

Ask Sam

Sam

Hi there,

Sometimes adults do things that you might not like or that can upset you. This includes drinking alcohol, smoking, gambling or taking drugs. It can be really difficult if you have a parent with an alcohol problem or addiction, and you can see the impact they have on you, your family and themselves. It's okay to tell them how you feel about their behaviour, but it can help to accept that it’s their responsibility and you can’t control or change what they do.

Alcohol isn't a problem for most people and families. It's possible for people to drink responsibly and for it to effect their lives or health. Drinking can become a problem when it begins to affect other parts of someone's life, like work or school, or when it starts to affect their personality. It can also be a problem if it affects people around them, like their family. Or if they can't stop drinking on their own and need support from others. If that’s happening, someone could be an alcoholic and needs help to be able to change. If you think anyone you know has an alcohol problem then Alateen might be a place to look for help.

As you feel like your mum isn't an alcoholic it would be a good idea to focus on how her drinking makes you feel and how it affects you. She might respond better to hearing about your feelings, rather than talking about her actions. If you focus on the impact this has on you it can help her to understand what she would need to change for things to be better.

Talking face to face is usually the best way of getting through difficult conversations. You can practice what you want to say beforehand by either talking to mirror, practising with a friend or calling Childline. Our counsellors would be happy to have this conversation with you so that you feel more prepared when it comes to doing it for real.

If you don't think you can manage a face to face conversation, writing down what you want to say in a letter can work too.

I hope this has helped, thanks for sharing.

Take care,

Sam

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