Ask Sam letter


To Sam

hi im in care and i do not like it.

hi well i got taken into care in December because my mum is really ill shes got cancer and shes dying and my dad had a heart attack and died, ever since that my school work has gone way down ive got know friends i got know one to talk to i get bullied becaus eim in care and other things aswell I allways get into trouble i self harm about 4 times a day and i have really bad anger issues and my sociol workers are always on my case, i share a room with 2 other girls that hate me i hate it hear we have so much strict rules i whant to run away but then again who would i go to ? im olone i got know one ? well thats my horrible life please ansew back x
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thank you for your letter.

It sounds like you’ve had to cope with a huge amount of change and loss in the past few months. I can hear that you’re feeling really unhappy about being in care.

Losing a parent or close family member can leave you feel very alone and abandoned. You are having to deal with loosing your dad and knowing your mum is dying at the same time. It’s really understandable that you might feel angry and get into trouble at school with all that you’ve been through. You‘ve also mentioned that you have no friends and that you get bullied at school because you’re in care. It’s not ok for anyone to bully you or say mean things to you. It seems like those bullies have no understanding of what you might be feeling or having to cope with.

You’ve talked about self-harming and having thoughts about running away. I can hear how lonely and trapped you feel at the moment. Running away can sometimes feel like the only option, but it is extremely dangerous and often just means having a new, different set of problems to deal with. Self-harm can also be risky, although I understand how important it can be as a way of letting your feelings out. If you do self-harm, it’s important to keep yourself as safe as possible. Have a look at the information on the Self-harm page in Explore for some advice on this.

I’m wondering if you’ve been offered any support with coping with your feelings, other than through your social workers? The Explore page about when someone dies offers some tips on coping through this difficult time. It also has some links to other organisations that support young people who have lost someone. You might also find it helpful to look at the information about Living in care in Explore. It explains some options to help you if you’re not happy in care. There is also information about some face to face services which are available to young people in care in some parts of the country.

It might also be an idea to have a think about which adults at school you might feel comfortable talking to about what’s been going on for you. Your school has a duty to keep you safe while you are there and you have the right to treated with kindness and respect by other people. Your education is important and you deserve get the support you need to be able to cope with your school work while things are tough.

You might like to consider talking to a ChildLine counsellor by logging on for a 1-2-1 chat or by calling us for free on 0800 1111. They can offer you a confidential safe space to talk about your feelings and to help you find a way to cope with what’s happening.

Take care,


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