Ask Sam letter


To Sam


I know this is a bit extreme but my family and I do not get along. I have tried to sort things out but my efforts are not good enough. I still misbehave and talk badly to my parents a lot...

I have decided I want my own place. There is one issue. I am 16 years old. I have looked online and found a suitable place to rent that is only 8 minutes on the bus to get to school.

I have planned out how I would live with very little money and how I would plan to get a job. I love my family very much but I feel I cause too many problems and I never have anyone to help with these issues.

What I would like to know is how to tell my parents i want to move out and the way i should go about this. Furthermore, i have read in several places that a) i need to get permission and b) it will be very hard for me to get a place because of my age.

I really really need your help. I am struggling especially as i have nobody i can talk to.


Please talk me through the process of what i need to do etc.

Thank you, E*.

Ask Sam


Hi E*,

When things get difficult with your family, it can feel really hard to stay living at home. If you feel like this, it's important to make sure you can find somewhere safe to stay.  

It’s true that most landlords won’t rent properties to people under the age of 18. If somebody becomes homeless, help is available from your local council on the website. If you don’t feel like you can stay at home, you can get more advice about housing on Shelter’s website

If the problems at home are really difficult to cope with, it could help to contact Children’s Services in your area for support. They can help families work through problems. I can't tell you specifically what they will do or say because each situation is different. For many young people this is a good starting point. With support, you can work on relationships which can make life at home easier.

It could help to have a conversation with your parents about the way you’re feeling about what’s happening between you all. You said that you believe that you’re causing problems and that you misbehave. It might help to talk to your parents about how you think your behaviour is making the situation worse.

Remember, you can always talk to one of the ChildLine counsellors more about this.

Take care,

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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