Ask Sam letter

Hi there,

Thanks for your letter.

It sounds like you are finding it difficult living with your adoptive family, and that although it is somewhere safe to stay you feel lonely and not connected with them as much as you would like.

If you have a social worker, they will be the person who can help you most with this. If you were to talk with them you could explain what you want and ask what your options are. Everyone’s situation is different so your social worker would have to decide whether it’s okay to see your family more or to move back with them.

Whether or not you have a chance of moving back in with your real family will depend on if that is a safe option and in your best interests. What you want and how you feel are important so social workers should try to listen to you when making decisions about your future.

If you are going to try and move in with your old family, your adoptive parents will need to know at some point. The sooner you get them involved the more they can help decide what’s best for you. It might be that they can help you to visit your real family for a while first, if that’s allowed. Taking things slowly will make sure that you feel you’re making the right decisions.

If you don’t feel you could speak to your adoptive family and you are not able to speak to a social worker, you can contact the Children’s Legal Centre for information on your legal rights. They have a free phone number (08088 020 008) and support young people with all aspects of family law. With more information they may be able to advise you if this is possible or not.

It would be good for you to check out the ChildLine message boards -  by posting questions you could get support from other young people who might have had similar experiences. Also, you can always get in touch with one of our counsellors by logging on for a 1-2-1 chat or by calling 0800 11 11 and talking it through. 

Take care,
Sam