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To Sam

Hello

I'm an 9 aged child and I've got an problem. Everyone in my school is saying that I've got an boyfriend and I don't. Well, what happend first is I wanted him to be my boyfriend and now I never want him to because I'm an Islam and I thought it would be ok but  when I went to my Islamic school they said that I'm not allowed to have a boyfriend because it's my riligon. The problem is I don't know how to say it to my mum and dad!

From S

Ask Sam

Sam

Hi there,

It can be really upsetting when a lot of people say things about you that aren't true.  It is never okay for anyone to spread rumours about someone because it can leave people feeling very upset and not knowing what to do.

One way of telling your parents about the things people are saying at school is to keep a diary of what people are saying about you. You can then show the diary to them. This might help them understand that things being said about you are not true. Have a look at our advice on asking an adult for help.

Everybody has a right to be in a relationship and it is okay for you to want to have a boyfriend no matter what religion you are from. That is your decision to make, although your parents might have rules about that which would be important to talk to them about.

Being in a relationship with a boyfriend or girlfriend can mean being with someone you like and who likes you back. A girlfriend or boyfriend should be someone who you respect and who respects you back. You should feel safe with them.

There are lots of things to consider when you are thinking about starting a relationship, especially for someone who is 9 years old like you say you are. If you feel safe around your mum and dad, it might be a good idea to ask them what they think about you having a boyfriend. You could see if it is something they would allow in future if not right now.

Counsellors at ChildLine are always ready to listen to you any time of day or night if you ever wanted to talk some more about this or anything else. You can call free on 0800 1111, or have a1-2-1 chat (like instant messenger) or send us an email.

Take care

Sam 

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