Ask Sam letter

Asker

To Sam

foster brother

Dear Sam I have this foster brother.he is really annoying but I don't want to keep him what so I do?

I think that my foster brother doesn't like me but sometimes he does.

Please can we keep this between us

Also I don't no wether to tell you my name ?

Ask Sam

Sam

Hi there,

Thanks for your letter – it sounds like you are going through a tough time at the moment. Anything you ask me is confidential and I wouldn’t tell anyone about this and you only have to tell me your name if you want to.

I can hear that you are having a tough time having a foster brother. It can be really hard to share your space with a new person, especially when that space is your own home. Getting used to how a new person behaves can be really hard and it can take time to figure out how to get along. To get fostered someone usually has been through a really difficult time and they may have moved a lot. That can be really hard for anyone to try and deal with and sometimes that comes out in the way they act towards other people. That’s not your fault and that’s not your foster brother’s fault either. In saying that, it is important that you feel good about being at home and feel safe there.

You don’t mention how you get on with your parents and if you feel you can talk about how you are feeling. Sometimes it’s just about making some new rules about how you and your foster brother can get on. That can help you feel like you have your own space and it can help you and your foster brother, possibly, building up a better relationship – you said that sometimes he does like you and that’s something you can build on.

While your parents have done a really great thing by fostering a child, you are important too and it’s okay to let your parents know how you are feeling about this. I know that it can be hard to talk about things sometimes, but you did a really great job writing a letter to me – do you think that you might be able to write a letter or a note to your parents to let them know how you are feeling? That would give them a chance to really hear what you have to say.

Have a think about it – and if you don’t feel ready to talk to your parents at the moment, maybe you can think of another trusted adult who might be able to support you? This could be another relative, a teacher or a youth worker for example. You don’t have to go through this all on your own.

If you do want to talk about this a bit more you are more than welcome to contact a ChildLine counsellor either online or on the phone by calling 0800 1111.

Take care,

Sam

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