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Hi there,
Thank you for your letter. It sounds like you have thought a lot about your beliefs and I am pleased you have been able to share them with me. Religious or spiritual beliefs are often based on our own personal experiences and it sounds like your pet dying has really changed how you think of 'God' and religion.
Pets can be such important parts of our lives and when a pet dies it can be a really difficult experience to go through. There is some information on our page about losing someone that you may find helpful to have a look at.
It sounds like since you told your mum about your change in beliefs you have been treated unfairly. Being forced to attend religious clubs sounds really difficult for you and being locked in your room is not okay - this could be thought of as a type of emotional abuse.
Its okay to have your own beliefs. Everyone has a right to have beliefs of their own, no matter how old they are. Remember that we cant choose what we believe we are either convinced of something or were not. Perhaps you can talk to your mum about what has convinced you that there is no God and what it would take for you to believe in God again, if anything.
Perhaps this is something you could chat to an adult you trust about. This might be a teacher at school or a relative. ChildLine counsellors will also listen to how you are feeling and, if you want, they can help you think about some good ways to deal with your situation.
Its normal for parents to want you to share the same beliefs and values they have, but having religion forced onto you is not okay. However, it is something a lot of young people experience in different ways. You may find it useful to have a look at our message boards - there is a faith and religion thread where a lot of young people are talking about their personal beliefs and how it impacts their lives.
You can contact a ChildLine counsellor at any time. Remember we are always here for you.
Take care,
Sam
You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.