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To Sam


I love the summer ! However this means I am with my family even more which means I am exposed to Being treated unfairly by my mother I am the oldest girl out of three girls and I don't know why but my mum seems to hate me but love my sistersĀ  for example she'll be in such a bad mood with me but then so happy with my sisters and will always shout and get stressed at me I don't what it is but when I google it, it says often the oldest child is treated unfairly. My dad treats me as fair as my sisters so I am lucky to have him I have tried telling my mum how I feel but she always says I'm talking rubbish I don't know what to do but it is just to hard living with her knowing I will always be treated unfairly. I would really appreciate it if you could reply and let me know what to do and if this is common in the oldest child.
from xxx

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Everyone has a different experience of being part of a family. Some people get on very well, but others might have a more complicated relationship. This can feel hard, and these difficulties affect how connected we feel to a family member.

The school holidays mean you might spend more time at home and this can make the family relationships more tense. The summer holidays in particular are a very long time to spend with family members.

Some young people find it harder being the oldest sibling. They can feel that there is more responsibility and they are being treated differently, which can be hard to cope with.

Different people find different ideas work for them. Some young people find that it may help to talk things through with their family. This may help them to recognise that there is a problem and how things feel for you, and look at ways that things need to change.

It may help to think about a relationship with a family member that you do have a good connection with and talk to them and they can be there for you.

Another idea for the holidays is to make some plans. Think about the fun that you want to have and how that can happen. You may like to consider spending time with friends and other relatives as a way enjoying the holidays. You might find that doing things you and your family enjoy may bring you closer together.

Throughout the holidays there is always a ChildLine counsellor to talk to.

Thanks again for your letter.

Take care,

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