Ask Sam letter

Hi there,

Thanks for your message explaining how things are for you at the moment.
It sounds like it is very difficult for you at home. You say that you need to get away from the arguments with your mum for a while and would like to move in with your nan.

You do not tell me how much your nan knows about all of this. I wonder if you've spoken about wanting to move in with your nan with either your mum or your nan and what their reaction has been. It sounds like you're thinking of it as a temporary situation to give yourself some space. Sometimes in situations like this it can help to go to a safe place to get away from arguments. 

If you haven’t already done so, perhaps the first thing to do is talk to your nan. You could find out if she would be okay for you to move in with her for a while. If your nan is happy with this idea, you could then talk to your mum about it. 

You don’t tell me what you mean when you say you don't feel "right" at your house. In situations like these it's important to look at as many options as possible. For example, some people find talking to their mum and explaining how they feel improves their situation.

You also asked about your rights. You can leave home at 16 without your parents’ permission, but it’s important to make sure that you have somewhere safe to stay before you decide to leave. We have more information about your rights on leaving home here which I hope you find useful.

If you'd like to talk any of this through some more, you could talk to a counsellor at ChildLine. You can call for free on 0800 1111, have a 1-2-1 chat or send an email. 

Take care,

Sam