Ask Sam letter


To Sam


I've been in foster carer for 5 years and nearly 6 year coming in March my foster family are very strict and I have no social media so I can't chat to my friends I don't like living with them they are verbally abusive and always look down at me.I don't want to live with them and after five year of this I have finally reached my breaking point.
Ask Sam


Hi there,

It’s not okay for your foster family to say unkind things and look down at you so you feel uncomfortable living with them. This is called emotional abuse, and it's wrong.

Because you live in care, with your foster family, there are rules that your foster family must keep to and it could be that this isn’t happening. One way of checking things out would be to speak out about what’s going on and explain how your foster family is making you feel and how you want things to change.

You could talk to an adult you trust, perhaps your social worker or teacher. Some people find writing a letter is easier for them than speaking face-to-face. Writing a letter means you can think about what you want to say and include all the important points and keep working on it until you feel that it’s ready to pass on.

It could be that you’ve already spoken to someone you trust but nothing’s changed.  If you feel that you’re not being listened to or you find it too hard to speak to them, there are advocacy services like the National Youth Advocacy Service on 0808 808 1001 which provide independent support for young people in care. They can help you speak up if things aren’t right.

You’ve done really well to start speaking out about the way you feel to me, and if you’d like to tell us more about this you could talk to a counsellor in confidence.

Take care for now,

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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