Ask Sam letter

Asker

To Sam

Family

Im a fifteen year old girl and my parents never let me go out with my friends, i have tried so much talking to them but they just wont listen, my 16th birthday is comming up this week and im not even allowed to do anything for my birthday. Sometimes it just gets too much and i want to leave but i have no where to go
Ask Sam

Sam

Hi there,

Relationships with parents often change during your teenage years. Getting more freedom can be a struggle as some parents find it hard to see their children are maturing.

It might help to ask your family what would help them give you more freedom. For example they might want to meet your friends, or be reassured that more freedom won’t affect your school work or home chores. You could suggest a month’s trial period so they can see the likely effects.

Sometimes it can help to get another adult to speak with a parent. This could be a family friend, an adult in the family, or someone at school. Hearing your point of view from someone else can help them see its importance.

Leaving home can seem like a good option when family life is hard but it is important to consider all the practical options. Where would you live and how would you financially support yourself? How could it affect future plans, and how it might affect your family relationships?

Your first option might be staying with friends or family as you could negotiate rent or contributing towards bills. From age 16 you can leave home without parental consent. Have a look at this page for more information on your rights

Try to think carefully about whether you do want to move out, or whether you would prefer things changed at home so you could still live there. This is a big decision to make so don’t rush into anything. Remember you can always talk it over with one of our counsellors.

Take care,
Sam

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

Ask me a question

You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small.

Write me a letter