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To Sam

family fights

the relationship i used to have with my family used to be really close but now it is almost completely gone. i am usually sitting in my room on the weekends alone because whenever i go near them i always end up doing something wrong.my mother shouts at me when i say almost anything and when i try to speak to my dad it feels like he is pushing me away because he doesnt want to listen to my worries. i love my parents a lot and want our relationship to go back to normal again. please help me

T xxx

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Sam

Hi there T,

Thanks for writing to me and telling me about the difficult time that you’re having at home. It sounds like you feel the relationship you have with mum and dad has changed a lot and that the feelings of loss you’re experiencing are making you feel very sad and lonely.

I get a lot of letters from young people who feel like they’re always arguing with their parents. You haven’t told me how old you are, but I do know that relationships with parents tend to get more complicated when people become teenagers. As you get older, the relationship between you and your parents will change. Your parents have less control as you get more independent and develop more ideas and opinions of your own. It can take time for both young people and their parents to adjust to these changes and it often leads to disagreements.

I can hear that you really love your parents and how much you’d like to try to get your relationship back on track. It might be that just letting your parents know this would help things start to change. You’ve said that when you try to speak to your dad, it feels like he’s pushing you away. Maybe you try could letting your mum and dad know how you’re feeling in a different way? Sometimes writing a letter can be helpful as it gives you the chance to say everything you’re thinking and feeling without being interrupted or feeling too nervous to speak.

You can read a bit more about Family relationships in the Explore section. You might also want to check out what other people are saying about things at home on the message boards.

If you would like to talk more about this situation, you could always give ChildLine a call or log in for a 1-2-1 chat. They could talk through how you’re feeling and start to explore any options you might have.

Take care,

Sam

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