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Death is horrible

Hi Sam, I'm e**** and 2 years ago my daddy died! It was so hard but ever since then I've had so many family problems! My step mum and brother and sister are not aloud to talk to me or other siblings! My older brother is abusive towards me and my mum and everything is horrible! I want some advice on how to handle big changes and how to feel safer at home
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thank you for your message.

I can hear that your dad dying was really hard for you to cope with and it’s natural for things to feel difficult after you lose someone you’re really close to. You can always ask for help. You shouldn’t be having to cope with these feelings by yourself. You may find it helpful to look at our page on When someone dies for some more information. There's is also a charity called Cruse who support young people coping after a loss. 

It seems like since your dad died you have had some other problems and you mentioned that some of your family aren’t allowed to talk to you. Sometimes people stop family members seeing each other because they want to protect them from being hurt or treated badly. Other times there may have been an argument or misunderstanding which stops families spending time with each other. Whatever has happened, it’s important that you get the chance to talk about how this makes you feel. If you’d like things to be different you can talk to someone you trust about that – to see if any changes can be made.

You’ve told me that your older brother is abusive. No one should be abusing you or your mum in any way and you deserve to be protected. You’ve asked about feeling safe at home and you have the right to feel happy and safe. It’s important to tell someone who can help you. It's okay to call 999 if you are in immediate danger.

There may be someone you feel able to talk to about what’s been happening and about how you feel. This might be a different family member, a teacher or social worker. 

If you’re feeling unsure about this and about what might happen, it might feel better to talk things through with a ChildLine counsellor at first. That way you can tell them what’s been happening and how you feel, and you could think together about what might help and how you can keep yourself safe.

Big changes can be difficult to cope with but with the right support things can become easier for you.

Take care,

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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