Ask Sam letter

Hi there,

Thank you for writing to us about what is going on for you at home. It sounds like you are going through a really tough time and you did the right thing to ask for some help and advice.

It’s never ok for one person to abuse another person in any way or make you feel like you are scared and alone. Home should be a place where you feel safe, loved, cared for and treated with kindness and respect. What your dad is doing is very wrong and you and your mum have the right to be safe. Speaking out about abuse is a good way to get help – letting others know what is going on for you can help them to help you and is an important first step.

I can see that you are worried about your dad going to jail and your dad hurting your mum. While abuse is always wrong, depending on the type of abuse and the person, certain people can work with you and your family to make sure your dad doesn’t hurt you anymore. For some this could be a family member while for others it might be social services. The most important thing is that you are safe and you know that this is not your fault. Your dad is an adult and so what he does is a choice he makes. Your fears around not wanting him to go to jail are normal because you just want what is happening to stop.

Many adults who abuse children tell the child or young person that they shouldn’t tell or something bad will happen. Either to them or to someone they love. This is a way that an abuser tries to control you and stop you from asking for help. At a time like this it can be helpful to talk to a ChildLine counsellor more about this, either online through a 1-2-1 chat or over the phone (0800 1111). That way you can get more information and support around what is going on for you and find out what your choices might be.
 
Childline is always here for you and we want you to know that you deserve to be safe and that there is help out there for you. You don’t have to go through this all on your own.

Take care,

Sam