Ask Sam letter


To Sam


Hi Sam, I really want some advice. This Christmas will be the first Christmas without my mum and my sister who I was really close to, my mam and dad broke up and my sister chose to live with mum whilst i chose to live with dad. I can't take in the fact that this Christmas they won't be here. We were a close family. Especially at Christmas. I'm not sure on what to do. I've spoken to both my mum and my sister but it seems like they do not care. I've spoke to my dad and he says I was better off without them! They have done a lot these past few months that have hurt me but I keep thinking about how we used to be and I keep thinking about how good the Christmases were before.
Ask Sam


Hi there,

At Christmas people often spend time with their families, so it can be an emotional time if there have been changes in a family. You deserve to feel happy and comfortable at home. You could think about what you would enjoy doing with your dad on Christmas Day and share those ideas with him before the day. You and your dad may still be able to spend time doing the same things you usually do on Christmas Day. It is good that you're able to talk to both your parents even though things in your family have changed. And this Christmas you may not feel that is for the better.

You've done really well to share your feelings with your family. It’s possible that your mum and sister seem like they don’t care because they are trying to hide their feelings to avoid upsetting you. Sometimes those close to us do things like this as they don't want to hurt us. 

Perhaps if you have other relatives that you still see or feel close to you could talk to them about this. You could use the Christmas and New Year message board to talk to other young people who've already been through a similar experience and find out what helped them cope.

When things change for families, big things like birthdays or Christmas can also change too. And it can be hard to accept that good times from the past might not happen again. 

Please remember ChildLine is always here, so if you would like to talk to someone on Christmas Day or any other day you can talk to a counsellor.

Take care,

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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