Hi there,
Thanks for your letter.
It sounds like you've found out a lot recently. I can tell you're worried about what's happening at home to your friend and how she is coping.
Its really positive that your friend trusts you enough to talk to you about what's going on for her. Sometimes sharing things can help you feel less alone. Finding out that someone self-harms can be confusing and worrying, so it can help to be ready to support your friend. First you can find out more about self-harm and take a look at the message boards too. The message boards are a place where young people share their experiences of self-harm and other worries.
Often people who self-harm are doing so to cope with some very strong and difficult feelings. These feelings can be caused by many things, including being treated badly at home. There can be risks with people cutting themselves, so it would be good to give your friend some advice about this. It sounds like you are worried that the cuts you have seen are deep. If a cut does not stop bleeding, it is important to get medical help - either by visiting a GP or a walk-in centre. If it is more serious, you or your friend can call an ambulance on 999 to get help. If you want any more advice about this, you can talk it through with a ChildLine counsellor. It might also be helpful for you and your friend to take a look the coping techniques section on our website for ideas about safer ways to cope with her feelings.
I can hear that things are feeling really tough for your friend at home. Parents have a responsibility to look after their children well, by not hurting them, and not making them upset. If parents hit or punch their children, this is physical abuse. It sounds like your friend is being physically and emotionally abused at home. This is never okay.
Maybe you've thought about telling someone else what you know because of how worried you are. If you do, its important to understand what will happen next as it might be different depending on who you tell. For example, if you told a youth worker, teacher or social worker, they will have a policy about what they have to do next. If you talk to ChildLine or another adult you trust such as a family member, its likely that they would be there more to support you and help you look at options first.
In order to be there for your friend, it is important you are able to look after yourself and cope with how this has left you feeling too. You can get support for this at ChildLine by talking to a counsellor. You can talk to a counsellor on a 1-2-1 chat, by email or by calling 0800 1111. The counsellors talk to many people who self-harm and also people who support friends so they can listen without judging you and help you find ways to look after yourself.
Whatever happens next, its important to remember you are not alone, and neither is your friend. ChildLine counsellors are there to support you whenever you need to talk.
Bye for now,
Sam
