Ask Sam letter


To Sam

Can I move out

Things are getting really bad at home there's atleast 5 arguments every night between my parents me and my sister, theses arguments have even going on for years and a lot of the time they get that bad when I'm involved I end up turning to self harm or get really violent towards my family. I cannot cope with the stress of all my higher exams coming up with all this building on top of it. Sometimes there will be so much shouting and screeming going on I can't even do my homework, I would like to know if I can move out (with/without my parents permission) I'm 16 but still want to stay at school, is this possible?  Thanks
Ask Sam


Hi there,

There are lots of reasons why families don't get along sometimes. When relationships break down it can cause even more strain the family. You mentioned that your way of coping is to self-harm or get violent.

As you are 16, you are able to move out without your parents' permission. However, you would need to have somewhere safe and appropriate to live. You would need to think about how you would be able to support yourself. This would probably include things like paying rent, buying food and paying for electricity and water.

It’s a lot to think about and you may run into problems when trying to arrange those things. For example, you can’t sign a contract to start paying rent somewhere else before you’re 18. You can read more about your rights and leaving home on our page about rights.
I can hear how important school is to you. Perhaps you could talk to a teacher or adult at school about the pressure you are under with your future exams. They may be able to find somewhere quiet where you can focus and study in peace. Your school will want to support you in doing well in your exams.

It can feel overwhelming when there is so much going on. You don't have to cope with all of this on your own. Perhaps you could talk to one the counsellors at ChildLine. They will listen and support you and explore your options for working towards making life more how you would like it to be. You could have an online chat with a counsellor, send an email or call the free helpline on 0800 1111, whichever works best for you. Good luck.

Take care,

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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