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Brushed off

My brother is really sporty and has recently been rowing for GB. My parents are obviously so proud of him and so am I but now he has become such a great rower I feel like my parents are brushing me off. For example, I was going to netball one evening and my mum was on the phone to a friend about my brothers rowing and I needed my skort. I asked where it was and she just got angry even though I wrote it down for her. Then when I got back she was on her phone to a friend about selling programmes for the Oxford and Cambridge boat race and when I whispered goodnight she just flicked her hand and motioned for me to go away angrily.

please tell me what to do?

Ask Sam


Hi there,

It can be hard when a sibling is doing well and succeeding because it can feel as though it puts us in their shadow. What’s important to remember though is that success means different things to different people. You shouldn’t be treated differently by your parents for not having the same kind of success as your brother.

In situations like this it can help to be honest and open with your parents – as difficult as that may feel. It’s probably not going to be an easy conversation so first you may need to take some time to think about what you want to tell them about how you're feeling.

Maybe you could write down what you want to say as this can help to make things clear in your mind. Having it written down can help you be assertive if you’re feeling nervous as it can remind you of what you want to say.

After this it would be good to work out what would be a good time to talk to them so that they would be able to listen and give you their full attention. Family relationships can be difficult, but talking can help make things better.

If you’re not sure about how to talk to your parents you can always contact a counsellor. We can help you to work out what you want to say to your parents and practise it before you speak to them.

I hope that helps, take care

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