Ask Sam letter


To Sam


my step mum and dad keep arguing (when i sleep at my dads house) and i cant stop thinking about it and its getting in the way of my school work and i cant stop thinking about it. another thing is whenever i think about it i dont know if they are just drunk or being serious

dont want them to get arrested

Ask Sam


Hi there

It sounds like you’ve been feeling really worried about the arguments between your dad and stepmum. All families argue from time to time, but if arguments are worrying you so much that it gets in the way of your school work, it’s time to ask for some support. I’m really pleased you decided to get in touch with me.

Your safety is the most important thing in all this. If the arguments ever make you feel like you or someone else might get hurt, it’s okay to call 999 and ask for emergency help. Calling 999 doesn’t necessarily mean anyone would get arrested, but it allows the police to come out and make sure that everyone is safe and well.

It sounds like your dad and step mum have often been drinking alcohol when they argue. When someone drinks too much it can be really tough for the other people in their family. Your dad has got a responsibility for you while you’re staying with him, and it’s not okay if he gets so drunk that he can’t support you properly. You might find it helpful to look at the parents and alcohol page in the Explore section of our website.

I’m wondering if there are any adults in your life who you trust, like maybe a family member or a teacher at school who you could talk to about this. Another adult could help explain to your dad how upsetting you find the arguments. You might even want to talk to your dad and stepmum yourself. It would be best to do this at a time when they’re calmer and they haven’t been drinking. If it’s too hard to say it out loud, you could tell them how you’re feeling in a letter or an email.

ChildLine are here to keep supporting you and you can talk to a counsellor for free by calling 0800 1111, logging on for a 1-2-1 chat or by sending an email. You might also find it helpful to get support from other young people on our message boards.

Take care


Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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