Ask Sam letter


To Sam


Hi Sam :)

My friend has recently revealed to me that her dad has been cheating on her mum for a long time. This friend is usually very happy and loud but often she has long periods of time where she is upset or withdrawn - I'm afraid this is the cause.

Any advice? How should I be kind to this friend? Me and my best friend hang out with her a lot but I'm not sure if I should speak to her personally about this or leave it. This happened a few days ago and I've been debating it a lot.


Ask Sam



Lots of people look up to their parents, and this makes it hard to cope if they do something that lets us down or shows us they’re not the person we thought they were. If one of our parents cheats on the other, it can hurt us too because we feel like they’ve betrayed the whole family.

Dealing with a change in the family or discovering someone has been cheating can be difficult. Your friend might need to try and work out any feelings they may have about it. Or they might want to be around others to be able to cope.

When we see a friend struggling, it’s natural to want to help. But knowing the best way to do this can be tricky. Often small gestures can go a really long way – asking how someone is, offering to buy their lunch or go somewhere with them to take their mind off their problems. Sometimes being there just to listen is the best thing you can do.

If you’re really stuck then you can always ask her what she wants from you as a friend right now. Sometimes this is the best way to help someone.

It’s important you get support for yourself too. You can talk to a ChildLine counsellor about what it’s been like supporting your friend and getting help for you.

Take care,

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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