Ask Sam letter


To Sam


i was sexully abused by my grandfather and i scared to tell anyone what he did and now he dead i nealry told my mum twice but im to scared too do you think i shoiuld tell my parents  what he did to me
Ask Sam


Hi there

Thank you for writing to me.

I can see that you’ve been through a really tough time with being sexually abused by your grandfather.

Firstly, I want to tell you how brave you have been to write this letter. Talking me about the abuse is a huge first step to getting support and you’ve done so well to get this far. Sexual abuse is wrong and what happened was not your fault. Your grandfather was an adult and would have known that what he did was wrong. Young people who’ve been abused often tell me they are scared to share the experience, but talking about it is the best way to get help.

I can see that you have nearly told mum twice before. I wonder what stopped you telling mum on those times when you did try to say something. You don’t mention what your relationship is like with your parents or how you think they might react. You have the right to be listened to and believed, and to be supported with talking about your feelings about your grandfather.

You might find it helps to talk things through with someone else before you try telling mum again. If you wanted to do that with a ChildLine counsellor, they would be happy to help. You can contact a counsellor by ringing 0800 1111 or logging in for a 1-2-1 chat. They will believe what you’re saying and will not judge you or ask you to do anything you are not ready to do. They will also keep what you tell them confidential, unless they think someone’s life is at risk.

Another way of accessing support would be to speak to your GP or talk to a trusted adult at school. It’s worth knowing that a teacher or doctor might not be able to keep it confidential if you tell them about the abuse. They would have to make sure that you have the support you need to stay safe, so they may need to talk to the police or social services. You can read more in Explore about telling people about sexual abuse.

You can also try taking a look at the Sexual Abuse message board. Young people share information about a variety of different subjects in this way using the message boards. You might find it helpful to see what other young people in your situation have done.

Whatever you decide ChildLine is here to listen and I would like to thank you again for being so brave and sharing this with me.

Take Care


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