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To Sam

WiFi problems, and a long distance relationship

So recently my mum and step-dad have been really strict about me and my younger brother using the wifi. It's gotten so bad that I stay at college longer just so I can use their wifi. The reason I'm so dependent on it is because I have a girlfriend that lives in Holland, and we can only talk via instant messaging and skype. My stepdad has said that he'll set up certain times I can use it, but he seems to be putting it off constantly. And I feel as if I'm being treated like a little kid, having to keep my phone downstairs when I'm in bed and having an internet schedual. I feel as if I should be allowed it whenever, and if I loose sleep because of it, I'll learn from the consequences. I'm also scared for mgy relationship. What if my girlfriend gets fed up of waiting all the time? I'd hate it if she left me. Thanks for reading, Sam. I hope youcan give me some advice.
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Long distance relationships can sometimes be difficult and it can be frustrating when you are relying on the internet to talk to someone you are dating in a different country. Especially if you don’t have lots of freedom to do that.

Parents have a responsibility to keep their children safe online and they can sometimes take steps that may feel extreme, to control the amount of online time for you and your brother. It’s important to continue to have the discussion with your parents to let them know how you feel and to try and agree an appropriate amount of time for you to have online.

Your independence and happiness is important. And talking to them is a really positive way to help develop and build trust. Perhaps you could try asking them what they're most worried about when they won’t let you use the WiFi. Once you understand how they feel, it makes it easier to come to a compromise.

All relationships are about communicating and being open and honest with each other. You could let your girlfriend know the challenges you are having at home with your internet access and your worries about the impact it may have on your relationship. This will help your girlfriend understand how things are for you.

Many young people have relationships online, and it’s always important to keep yourself safe. Letting your parents know about your relationship is a good idea. Maybe you can let them know that you've read about staying safe onlineThinkuknow is a site with more advice about this.. 

Remember ourcounsellors are always here if you’d like to talk some more. You may also find our message boards a good place to get some thoughts and advice from other young people.

Take care,

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