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Torn to peices...upset

Hi sam,

i have been very upset lately as this boy i was getting into me and him had a big argument, i loved him so much but now i feel like he hates me i have tried ring him but he wont answer i also tried messaging him but he just ignores it, this is upsetting me so much that i cry myself to sleep at night i have no idea what to do, i just want things back to how they were, but how i dont know....we both really loved each other but after the big argument he stoped talking to me, i cant carry on being this upset :'(

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thanks for your letter.

It sounds like you have gone through a really tough time since your argument with this boy. It’s understandable that you will be feeling upset since he hasn’t replied to any of your texts or phone calls. The fact that you are crying yourself to sleep at night tells me that it has been really hard to deal with him not getting in touch.

You say you just want things to get back to the way they were before you argued. At this point though, you don’t know what he wants and it seems like that is making the situation even harder.

After an argument you can often feel a lot of different emotions and it can take time to sort all those feelings out in your head and decide what you want to happen next. It might be that he needs a bit of space to think before he can talk to you about it. You said that you have messaged him to let him know how you feel, so it seems to me like it’s up to him to act next.

If he won’t talk to you then maybe you need to decide if you are willing to spend more time and emotional energy waiting for him. You will know better than anyone what your relationship with him was like, but it can help to talk through some options with people you trust such as friends or a family member you are close to. Perhaps you could also try writing down a list of the reasons for and against trying to be in a relationship with him again?

You could always talk to a counsellor at Childline through email, 1-2-1 chat or our freephone helpline 0800 1111. It might be that you decide it will be best to walk away now, or it might be that you feel like your relationship is worth fighting for, even if it that means risking disappointment. Either way, I think it is really important to make sure you are looking after yourself and your feelings, by eating as well as you can, trying to sleep, and being kind to yourself.

The message boards are also a great place to get some advice from other young people who use the site. You aren’t alone in this situation and perhaps by posting a message to the boards you might get some helpful ideas.

There is also some good information about Relationships in Explore. I hope this helps.

Take care,


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