Ask Sam letter

Hi there,

Thanks for your letter.

Pregnancy is one of those things that has a time limit on how long it can be kept a secret, so your friend has some big decisions to make. She can’t put them off forever. I can hear how stuck you feel trying to support her because it sounds like you think she’s not being realistic. It must be difficult to get to her to face up to those problems.

Only your friend can make the decision about whether to carry on with the pregnancy or not. Even though having a child at 13 is going to be very tough, it’s still her choice. What’s important here is that your friend is talking to adults who can make sure she is making that choice with the best information possible and that she gets the right medical care and attention.

Your friend needs to know what may or may not happen once the baby is born. Would she be allowed to look after it? Would there be any medical problems with her being so young? Can she afford to have a baby? Those are all scary and difficult questions and so the best way you could support her would be to get an adult involved. We have more information about why it can be good to ask an adult for help (and tips on how to do it).

At the very least your friend needs to see her GP as soon as possible. Docready is a good site that can help young people prepare for going to talk to their doctor.

If she is scared to take those first steps then you could get her to contact ChildLine so that we can talk things through with her, confidentially. She can also do this with Brook, who are experts on pregnancy.

We’re also here for you as well so get in touch with one of our counsellors if you’d like to talk more about how to support your friend and how it’s affecting you.

Take care,

Sam