Ask Sam letter


To Sam

Teacher and me

I'm writing to tell you that I am in need of help as I am in love with my teacher whom I think likes me as well, we are both very close to eachother and there are times when are hugging, however he does not make his feelings clear as it will risk his career whereas I think there should not be any harm as I am 18. An adult who is able to understand what is right and what is wrong. I am not asking for anything from him at the moment as I am waiting to finish my college and be able to be with him when I am no longer a student there.

I wanted to ask you few questions whether being with a teacher is a good thing or not? And what is consequences even though I am not a child but an adult.

I look forward hearing from you.

Thank you.

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thank you for writing to me.

It sounds like you have strong feelings for your teacher right now and want to know whether you are allowed to have a relationship with him. Schools and colleges should not allow a teacher to have a relationship with a student and relationships with former students are often seen as unprofessional and inappropriate. It is not unusual for pupils to have feelings for teachers but it is always worth thinking about what would happen if this went any further and developed into a relationship. Even if you are no longer a pupil at the school it seems possible that there could be some questions from the other staff for that teacher to answer. I cannot say what the specific consequences would be but this is something you should give some thought to. You do not mention who else knows about how you feel but many young people find it helpful to talk things through with someone they can trust.

You ask whether being with a teacher is a good thing or not. As you have asked that question, I get the sense that you think it would be risky for both of you to have a relationship. It sounds like you aren’t entirely sure of what your teacher’s intentions are and from what you have told me it sounds like you have been getting some mixed messages. It can be difficult when we have intense feelings and aren’t sure what to do. You mention that you will be able to be with him when you are no longer a pupil there - although you do not tell me what makes you say this. I'm also not sure if this teacher is aware of how you feel about him.

If you still have questions about this you are very welcome to contact us on 0800 1111 or log on for a 1-2-1 chat to speak to a ChildLine counsellor. ChildLine is here to support you with how this feels for you. Sometimes talking things through can help a situation seem clearer and more manageable.
Take care,


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