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Stressed and Feeling weak

Hey,

I have friend who has depression and a tendency to self harm. The school found out and she was given social help. It was good until in the last months she kept making comments about how rubbish her life was and she kept calling me her constant, which kinda scared me, cause I'm moving schools soon. Then she started showing me her cuts and it felt like before she got her help. She refused to talk about it to anyone herelf so I thought about it for a while and spoke to a teacher worried about her being sucidal again. I felt crap doing it and I still do. She worked it out and got mad at me but I couldn't blame her.

A teacher I'm close to found me crying and offered to let me talk to her. She made me feel better about things and I was okay for awhile. My friend and I kinda got our friendship back and she acts like she did before any of this, she's happy, so why aren't I?

I spoke to my teacher again recently about the guilt that I have for what I did. I argue with myself constantly about if it was the right thing to do. My teacher suggested if i wanted maybe speaking to a counsellor, she was trying to help but the idea just made me feel weak. I don't even know why it makes me feel weak it just does.

How can I stop feeling weak about this? How can I get over the guilt?

I know it's long sorry, but just writing this helped, any adviceor thoughts would be welcomed. Thanks

C*    x

Ask Sam

Sam

Hi there,

Thanks for your letter. I can hear that things are tough at the moment and I’m really pleased you were able to get in touch.

You talk about the guilt that you feel, but I want to assure you that you were right to tell a teacher about what was going on for your friend. It’s always okay to speak to an adult you trust if you’re worried about someone. It’s clear that you care about your friend and wanted to make sure that she was safe. You mentioned that your friend is happy now and I think you should be really proud of yourself for making sure she got the help she needed.

Guilt can be a confusing emotion and it doesn’t always make sense. You might find it helpful to read our page about guilt. 

You’ve talked about feeling weak, but I think that you have actually shown a great deal of strength by opening up to the teacher that you’re close to. Recognising when you need support and asking for it is an important part of being able to deal with difficult feelings and move forward, so well done for being honest about what’s going on.

Some people find speaking to a counsellor face to face helps them to work through their feelings so this might be something that you want to consider. You could also talk to a ChildLine counsellor, either by calling for free on 0800 1111, or logging in for a 1-2-1 chat.

Take care,

Sam

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