Ask Sam letter

Hi V*,

Telling lies can be a difficult thing to stop doing, especially if it’s been going on for some time. One lie can lead to another. And then it becomes difficult to remember what you said and sometimes the truth just disappears.

It might be worth thinking about what's caused you to tell the lies in the beginning, how you felt when you were doing it and what you were hoping to achieve by it. It’s good that you want things to change and want to start being truthful with your boyfriend.

It sounds like you think that stopping the anti-depressants might help you stop these lies. It seems like you want guarantees that if you start taking the medication again, it will stop you telling lies. I’m not able to give you that guarantee.

It can really help to speak to the doctor who prescribed the anti-depressants to you. You can explain that you’ve stopped taking them and are thinking of starting to take them again. It's best to speak to them because prescribed medication has an effect on a person’s system. And it’s not advisable to stop and start the tablets without proper medical advice.

At the same time as you speak to your doctor, it would be okay to ask them about side effects and to explain that since you came off the tablets you feel that you haven’t been truthful with people. Then you can see if they recognise this as a side effect of the medication.

It feels like you want to start being honest with your boyfriend, and I wonder if you’re planning on explaining what has been going on recently. And how you stopped your medication and think that was the cause of the lying to him. You said that when you told the one big lie you got through it and it sounds like you are hoping that he’ll forgive you for the small lies too. It might be worth thinking how you might feel if you found out your boyfriend was lying to you as this could help you to think more carefully about what you say in future and also how to manage the current situation you're in.

If you feel you need more support, you can always talk to a counsellor. They're here to listen and help you work out the next steps. You might also like to check out the message boards to see how other people might have coped in a similar situation.

Take care,
Sam