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Should I tell my friend I like her?

So im a girl and i like girls... a handful of close friends know this and everything is fine. I recently started College and made a new friend. She's like my only friend in college but I really really like her and I can't figure out if she likes me that way too or if she just really wants to be my friend.

The problem is... Do I tell her? If she likes me back then everything is fantastic! But she could completely reject me and not want to even be my friend and then I would have no friends at all at college and the next few years will be hell because the rest of the class already have seperated into their own wonderful friend groups ahhhhh.
what do I do?

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thanks for taking the time to write to me. I can hear how much you’d like to be able to talk to your new friend about your feelings. Ideally, she’d feel the same way as you. You have also considered the worst outcome that you can think of - that she doesn’t feel the same and that she rejects you completely. That sounds like a really scary and upsetting possibility to have to consider. It might be that there are other possible outcomes that are somewhere in the middle - for example, that she doesn’t feel the same, but is flattered that you like her in that way and really would like to be your friend throughout college.

You haven’t said whether this new friend of yours knows that you are attracted to girls or whether you know if she is too. Perhaps this could be a way to gradually explore whether she has feelings for you and would be interested in a relationship. It might be that by discussing sexuality with her, it will open up a conversation that might help you to understand more about her feelings.

Whatever you decide, you can always talk things through with a ChildLine counsellor. They will listen and treat what you tell them in confidence. Many young people have told me it helps a lot to talk to a ChildLine counsellor. 

There’s also an organisation called the Lesbian and Gay Foundation which can offer specific support to young people like you. They have phone, email and counselling services. You could also use the ChildLine message boards to get some support from people a similar age as you. Maybe you could ask what other young people would do in your situation and see whether that gives you any ideas.

Take care and thanks for your letter,

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